local girl at the supermarket

Gabriel stood in a queue at a supermarket. As he waited, he eyed up a young cashier with big tits and a wide-eyed smile. A fresh-faced teen, her brown hair had streaks of blonde at the tips and was tied back in a bob. On her wrists were handmade pink and purple armbands. A fringe covered her forehead an inch above her eyes. Gabriel could see her nipples were erect through the blue of her shirt as she sat with the excellent posture of an Asian scanning items: a pack of mincemeat, butter, eggs, gravy, an off-brand bottle of vodka, digestive biscuits. He began to get hard down there. Attentively she assisted an old lady with groceries, carefully placing each item into a plastic bag as though they were made from porcelain. Big tits’ smile reminded Gabriel of someone from his youth. He admired how she remained patient as the elder with a crooked spine and an earthy smell of death, took an age to count out coins for exact payment. Gabriel stood patiently, imagined what big tits’ nipples would taste like, how wet she could get between the legs when rubbed up. Something about her felt familiar.

The old lady began to look scared when asked if she had five more pence. Her mouth fell open as though her jaw had given out. Bloodshot eyes filled with water. She began poking around at pennies in the palm of her hand like they were tea leaves. This went on for longer than what Gabriel felt appropriate. Big tits cashier took over, picking out exact change from a trembling hand, she tapped a few buttons on her till, printed a receipt and handed it to the old lady. Carefully, she folded her receipt up like a handkerchief, placed it in a purse the size of a brick along with a few leftover coins.

‘Lovely to see you again, Mrs Thomas,’ big tits said, ‘you take care of yourself.’

‘You sound surprised I’m still alive.’

Big tits laughed. ‘Oh no, not at all. Lovely to see you.’

‘I’m surprised every day.’

Big tits cupped the old lady’s hands with her own. ‘You take care now, OK, Mrs Thomas.’

‘You too, dear.’

Once the bag of groceries had been placed in a trolley with wheels, the old lady gave a toothless smile, began to make the long journey towards the exit. Clutching at her trolley with hands covered in purple bruises, she almost rammed into a stack of discounted soda cans. Thankfully a short and fat Asian security man with strands of black hair poking out from underneath his shirt got to her before there was a collision. Taking her by the arm he guided her outside.

Maybe she wanted that to be the end of her, Gabriel thought.

Big tits had pink cheeks shaped like the fat end of a peach, thick black eyebrows and cherry lips. Her nails were long and painted red, her hazel eyes reminded Gabriel of green and brown autumn leaves. The queue contained a couple more elders who looked equally as disoriented as the old lady. As Gabriel waited for his turn to be served, his mind returned to a time in autumn from his own youth, spent camping as a season turned his life upside down.

He had gone camping with a friend. Together they sat by a tent in a field and tossed fishing lines into a river. They spoke about who they would shag at school as they shared cigarettes and a bottle of cider. They argued over who the best footballer was and questioned the loyalty of a friend who’d got way out of hand on a recent night out. Looking up at trees that offered their tent shelter from wind, they watched brown and green leaves spiral until they landed at their feet. They were city kids and it was their first time in the countryside. The earth moved with insects, grass blown by wind created wave-like movements across the land. The hum of birdlife reminded them they were lazy people by nature. The loamy smell of soil filled their nostrils and covered shoes and ankles, making the walk across fields feel heavier than it was, more of an endurance than adventure.

At first, they remained watchful of cows and sheep that grazed around them. Complained a little about the smell of cow dung and getting bitten. But soon they began to relax, learnt to admire the calmness of nature, how there were no people about. Unlike home, here there would be no rival gangs to outrun, crackheads to fend off or pub drunks looking for a roll around the cobbles after one too many at the local.

‘It’s quiet here, peaceful like,’ Gabriel said.

‘Yeah.’

To get to the countryside they had needed to sneak onto a train headed towards the coast. Once on the train they hid in a toilet when the train conductor came through the carriages looking for tickets and had stayed there until it was time to get off. Their budget didn’t accommodate a ticket and money for packets of crisps, chocolate bars, booze and tins of baked beans they’d stab open with an army knife and eat cold, once realising they couldn’t make a fire with damp twigs and toilet roll.

Gabriel had a full head of curly hair then, high cheekbones and square shoulders. His friend looked like Tintin and often got teased at school for being a redhead. But he was also tall and lean and renowned for being a good footballer. This was enough for Gabriel to nickname him Tinny and accept him as a friend. Gabriel was considered a good French kisser and talented with his fingers. Word had spread about his kissing once he’d necked a gossipy girl behind the bike sheds on a lunch break at school. He then convinced the girl to join him for a night camping and promised her he wouldn’t try anything on.

And by some sort of miracle she agreed and came, getting dropped off by an older friend with a car the following morning, at a train station the boys had run from the previous day. Gabriel had gotten up early, walked across muddy fields in Converse trainers, and stood at the entry yawning as he picked mud and grass from his dishevelled hair. He was hungover and thirsty and convinced she wouldn’t turn up. But when she appeared, dressed in a black North Face jacket, boots and tight denim jeans, he stood up like a soldier. He could not believe she had come. She walked over towards him holding a coffee in one hand and a plastic bag full of drinks and snacks in the other. Her sister had dropped her off, she told him. Watched them from the car for a few minutes before driving away. Gabriel was gobsmacked, it was as though she had arrived naked and was ready to give him what was left of her innocence.

‘Cat got your tongue then?’ she said, her hazel eyes glistening like sunlight on a wave, she approached him where he stood. ‘You look like you’re in detention stood like that.’

‘You made it?’ he said.

She began to giggle, stepped forward and waited until Gabriel kissed a rosy cheek that smelt of flowery perfume.

‘Yeah, well, I’m here, aren’t I? and you said this’d be fun—’

Gabriel nodded, attempted to pat down his bedhead but gave up when realising he looked like shit either way. Suddenly he became self-conscious about his own breath.

‘Want me to carry the bag for you?’ he said, inspecting what was in it.

She gave him the bag of food and beverages. ‘Figured you two wouldn’t be equipped for camping. Plus, I don’t fancy starving in a field.’

‘Thanks so much.’

‘It’s alright. You brushed your teeth yet?’

‘Not yet. Wanted to make sure I was here on time to meet you.’

She smiled when he said that. ‘Well, don’t think you’re getting near my lips until you have.’

‘You’re just here for the snogs aren’t you, nature does nothing for you city girls.’

‘Hardly.’ She looked into Gabriel’s sleepless eyes. ‘Listen. No funny business tonight, okay? If I don’t want you all over me. And remember, my brother stills runs the estate.’

Gabriel smiled. ‘No funny business, I swear.’

‘Good boy. Right then, where have you pitched this tent?’

That night, once drunk, Gabriel convinced Tinny to take a walk in the dark. Together they lay on damp duvets, in a tent that stank of body odour and cheesy crisps.

‘You do like me, don’t you?’ she asked.

‘Big time.’

Gabriel pressed his lips against hers. Strawberry chewing gum and the sweet taste of cider. She kissed him back slowly at first and then less slowly. His hand went to her waist and she didn’t move it.

‘Thought you said no funny business,’ she whispered.

‘Yeah.’

He took her hand. She let him. He guided it down and she let him do that too. Her breath was shallow in his ear. He could smell the flowery perfume she’d put on at the train station, hours ago now, before any of this was an option.

‘You feel good yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘Do you?’

‘Really good.’

The rest of it went the way these things go when neither person knows what they’re doing. Quick and clumsy and over before either of them was sure what had happened. After she lay still as though sleeping but wide awake. He heard her whisper, ‘what have I done,’ in the dark.

Tinny came back at some point. Gabriel didn’t know when. Not long after that, everything changed.

Back at Tesco’s it was finally Gabriel’s time to be served by big tits. Stood in front of her, he watched as she scanned a pack of beer, smokes, bag of crisps. He tried not to stare at her nipples when she asked without looking if he needed a bag. He nodded, watched as she placed the items into a bag.

‘That’s twenty-fifty-two please.’

As he handed her some banknotes, he noticed her lack of eye-contact, closed mouth. Once given his change he said thank you, picked up his bag and began to walk away.

‘Idiot has time to get drunk, but no time to see my sister, or his child,’ she mumbled.

Gabriel kept walking. Outside the supermarket he stopped to light a smoke. The Tesco bag knocked against his leg in the wind and the cigarette wouldn’t catch on the first strike but did on the second. He took a long pull from the smoke, exhaled heavily as though just receiving terrible news. He’d been right about her. He’d been right all along and there was nothing to do about it.

---

end

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